when dads everywhere take a break from the dusting – here is a list
of dads, exemplary displayers of those many and varied virtues who have
provided us all with a guide to life.
1. First Dad: Adam
The
first dad had a particularly testing time. He was turfed out of
paradise, he had a difficult relationship with his wife, and one of his
sons killed the other one. Remember, too, that he had no best friend to
complain to about them not understanding him.
2. Busy Dad: Genghis Khan
He
fathered hundreds of children as he fought, rode, won and, how you say,
relaxed his way across the vast plains of Asia in command of his fierce
and fleet horsemen. Indeed, Russian scientists have estimated that he
has no fewer than 16 million male descendants alive today, so keep a
close eye on anyone you know who starts barking out orders, taking
riding lessons and showing a disinclination to tolerate anyone sleeping
in.
3. Relaxed Dad: Mr Bennet
The true hero of Pride and
Prejudice, never happier than when he is in his library, alone, and not
being bothered by anyone, especially Mrs Bennet and her marathon
matchmaking mithering. Some of you will prefer Action Dad, showing you
how to do this or that, with a lot of noise, and usually not doing it
quite so well as he imagines. Others of us prefer Laidback Dad, ready,
just about, if called upon, but much preferring to let you learn for
yourself, which also means, conveniently, that he can get on with what
he wants to do himself.
4. Good Dad: David Cameron
Some
men forget all about their children, then unaccountably and suddenly
remember them when they win the lottery. Poor David Cameron has only to
make a minor slip and the world descends on his head. Consider, though,
the complex dad-multi-tasking that must have led to this dad-blip. In
there with two other families, deeply concerned about Europe's finances
while at the same time trying to split the lunch bill three ways with
appropriate reductions for extra chips: no wonder it all went horribly
wrong. And, being a Good Dad, there's been no attempt to spin this one:
no suggestion he had left her as a deposit or for work experience. No
attempt, either, to subtly shift attention to Mrs Cameron: for this is
the deal: every so often "Head of the Family" means more than those
helpful tips on childcare to one's partner.
5. The Father of the Prodigal Son
The
spendthrift of his inheritance who ended up broke and a swineherd
before coming home and offering to work as a servant. And this dad,
heroic in the way of dads, resisted the temptation to say, "Well, well,
if it isn't Flash Boy," "What's that smell?", or, "Work as a servant?
You're having a laugh!". No, he forgave him, told him he loved him and
did the Israelite equivalent of sending out for pizzas all round, with
extra toppings. Then the older brother, who'd stayed at home, working,
started complaining about this reward for bad behaviour, in the way
brothers do; and this dad said he still loved him, too, and that his
inheritance was safe. All dads love this parable. They particularly
admire the skill, economy and wisdom which led Jesus Christ to remain
silent about what happened the next morning when it was time to get up
and all that was evident of the both of them was the usual loud snoring
and not a jot of the washing up had been done. And silent, too, about
exactly what their mother said to the pair of them.
6. Most Unorthodox Dad: The father of a Boy Named Sue
7. Most Predictable Dad (often not in a good way): Homer Simpson
8. Most Awesome Dad: Darth Vader
(also gets Coolest Dressed Dad and Best Not Rubbed Up Wrong Way Dad Or He'll Chop Your Hand Off).
9. Most Interestingly Named Dad: Neville Neville
The father of Gary and Phil.
10. Best Dad who was also Pope: Alexander VI
Father of Cesare and Lucrezia Borgia (and at least six more).
Finally,
Most Affecting Dad Story: After President Kennedy's assassination, his
young son, John, asked a visitor to his home: "Are you a daddy?". The
man said he was. "Then will you throw me up in the air?" asked John.
